My fool proof guide to networking and building relationships

You hear it all the time, the importance of relationship building, especially from career guru’s and motivational speakers. They talk about the importance of psychology, manipulation techniques, and communicating and they hand out all these complex tools and protocols, and that’s great… but …

We all have experience with the sleazy sales bro or the overbearing, pushy car salesman. We all know that interactions with these people are synthetic, fake, disingenuous. We walk away from the interaction feeling dirty or cheated. These are they guys who are implementing the protocols from the career coaches to manipulate rather than communicate. We can feel it.

In reality, building relationships with people is no more complex than being a good person. That’s it. You don’t have to think fast or slow, you don’t have to think about game theory or zero sum negotiations. You just have to be a good, genuine person. This approach has worked so well for me that I have made it my life’s motto,

Don’t be a dick

Sam Turner

I’m Australian, so in my day to day, I replace the word dick with something a little more ‘colourful’ but the idea is the same.

Be open and honest. You wont believe how much further you get with this approach.

This sound simple, but its not easy for everyone.

What I have found is the easiest way to implement this is that from the moment you meet anyone, you act as if you are their mate. Simple.

Smile, listen, inquire about them. Speak and act in the same way you would a close friend, and magically they will become a friend or an ally.

People have amazing instincts around social interactions, so you can’t fake this. You need to be genuinely interested in the other person. I am a fairly introverted person, but I build deep relationships very quickly with this approach.

It is true that every single person you meet can teach you something if you have the humility and open mindedness to engage with them.

So next time you are in a relationship building situation, remember…

Don’t be a dick.